top of page

More of 30 tips to improve your life without really trying...part 5

So today I'm going a bit deeper, and maybe a little more controversial. So if you're openminded, and only then - please read on...

21/ Stop Believing in the Law of Attraction

Ooh did I just hear a sharp intake of breath???

See the thing is - if you were to buy and read a good book or listen to a podcast about learning to drive a car - would that mean that once you had finished the book or podcast that you would be able to go out, buy and instantly be able to drive a car? "No!" you'd tell me, "That would be ridiculous! You need lessons and practice and...and... and..."

And this is my point. Having intention is brilliant. But without any action to go with the intention - you just have a great idea. You have to DO something about it. Nothing is just going to magically come to you. Don't get me wrong, belief is so important - AND it needs to be backed up with action. Then you're going to get somewhere! Don't be fooled into thinking that belief is enough.

22/ Stop striving for perfection.

Perfectionism is a myth. Read that again. It does not exist.

Perfectionism is also subjective. What one person sees as perfect will largely differ from the next person. And ultimately it will just demotivate you if you strive for it because it is unattainable. So really what it does to us is makes us feel like we're not good enough. Which is a huge shame.

You're far better off working out what your 'good enough' looks like - it'll be different for everybody - by taking into account all the other stuff you have going on which might be getting in your way, and being happy with good enough. It will make you so much happier.

23/ Do you have a friend who makes you question who you are or how you show up? Consider limiting the time you spend with them, or cut them from your life completely.

Friends are a gift. Gifts are positive, uplifting, make us feel good. If you have friends who you don't feel like that around - why are you friends with them? I know it sounds harsh but when have you truly asked yourself that question?

I like to think of people like radiators and drains. I now choose to be friends with only radiators. I made the difficult decision to remove or really limit the drains a good few years ago and I cannot tell you the difference it has made to my life. I realise that sometimes it is not so easy - especially if you've known them for years or have a very interconnected group - if that's the case can you become a little less available to them? A little too busy? You deserve to be around people in your life who you feel great to be around. Go and hug the radiators.

24/ Listen to the lovely things other people say about you.

We so often brush off compliments. We don't want to be seen as being too egotistical or proud of ourselves for fear of being judged or being seen as boasting. I'm not sure where this comes from but I find it really sad. (Don't get me wrong - I'm guilty of this too) I wonder if it's a societal thing or a cultural thing? How often have you said any of the following:

"Oh this? It's really old, I've had it for years!"

"Thanks, I'm dreadful at styling my hair, it's just as well I have an amazing hairdresser"

"You'd do the same for me"

"I didn't even look in the mirror before I came out!"

Any of these sound vaguely familiar???

How about, instead, we make a pact. How about, next time someone says something nice to us, we take a breath. And say thank you. And pause. And hear it. They've said it because they meant it, we're doing them a dis-service by not letting it in.

25/ And on that note number 25 is about self compassion. Start talking to yourself like you would talk to someone else.

Try being a little kinder with your self talk. It's so easy to be hard on ourselves and berate ourselves for doing something wrong or forgetting to do something. We find it so easy when talking to friends or loved ones to say to them:

"you were only doing your best"

"stop being so hard on yourself"

"we all have days like that"

So why is it so hard to say these things to ourselves in similar situations? It's time to start being kinder to ourselves. To self talk like we talk to others. Try it. Let me know how you get on...

More next week! Jill x


bottom of page